Introduction to Leslie and review: Alpha & Omega

January 12th, 2011

Hello there! So my name is Leslie. If you come to Blockbuster between 9 and 5 you probably know me. I like chick flicks and kids’ movies which makes me kind of in charge of those things on this website full of manly men like Bob and Ted. I do have pretty high standards with kids’ movies, I don’t have any actual kids around me so I base my opinions on how much I personally enjoy them, if I do kind of dislike a kids’ movie please keep in mind that I’m describing the movie as it applied to me and that if you’re looking for a movie for children they’ll most likely enjoy it just fine.

I don’t think I’m gonna copy Ted’s review format, mostly because I started writing this review before he posted his and I didn’t feel like going back and changing it.

So here’s my first attempt at a review for Alpha & Omega.

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So this first thing I almost shouldn’t bother telling you because you’ll notice the second the movie begins. This movie was meant to be in 3D. It’s chock full of gimmicky “OH MY GOD THINGS ARE FLYING AT MY FACE!” moments. Or they are if you have a 3D tv and get the 3D version. In the 2D version they’re really just obnoxious and distracting.

So the story is about two wolves Kate (Hayden Panettiere) and Humphrey (Justin Long) from the same pack but separated by rank, she is an Alpha wolf and he is an Omega wolf. It is never explained how the ranks are chosen except that Alphas are not allowed to, how did they put it? “Howl” with Omegas. But two Alphas can…howl and the resulting child can be an Omega. Really it makes no sense but whatever.

Speaking of howling, they actually do. A lot. But it’s not like regular wolf howling, oh no, it’s much better . They sing. It comes completely out of nowhere and doesn’t fit with the feel of the plot at all. I honestly cannot imagine why they thought it worked in the movie.

So anyway Kate is promised to marry the son of the rival pack leader to make peace between the packs and prevent war and Humphrey is destined to be the comic relief of the pack forever. They’re both completely ok with this plan until, SHOCK OF SHOCKS! something goes horribly awry. They are kidnapped by nature preservationists and taken from their home valley in Canada to a nature reserve in Idaho to “repopulate”. There they meet two French-Canadian ducks, well I think one of them is supposed to be a goose, honestly it’s not very clear, who love to play golf and know the way back to the valley.

Really the movie should end there but it wouldn’t be a very good story, not that it really is anyway, so of course the two wolves fall victim to their own stupidity and go through ridiculous trials that could easily be avoided if they would think for half a second.

Now I realize I’m being rather harsh but I have always believed that a movie made for children can be enjoyable for adults without being too adult for children. This movie is completely unsure if it wants to be for children or adults and it kind of fails on both levels. Children will probably enjoy it but I wouldn’t recommend it for anyone over the age of 9 or so. It’s just not very well put together.

So if you are a child, have children, or like awkward animation, random wolf singing, and Hayden Panettiere’s voice, definitely check this out.

Otherwise you can probably skip it.